Illiterate? Fuck you.

EXPLANATION

This shirt is a departure from our normal lineup. It's crass, and although the irony might have a little subtlety, the naughty word doesn't.

So we decided against making it.

But, every time we even mentioned the 'illiterate' idea, someone laughed out loud.

So we decided... To HECK with civility. This is funny.

CURRENT SALE: Buy 3, get 1 free

If your shopping cart has 4 or more shirts in it at the time of checkout, the 4th (& 8th, etc.) shirt will be free!
(you will see the discount when shipping is calculated)

# of shirts	Shipping
1-4	$4
5+	FREE

120% Guarantee:

The most common reasons include, but are not limited to:

spouse didn't like it
meds wore off
sense of humor dramatically altered through hipnosis
it caught fire when you accidentally spilled lighter fluid on it while playing with matches and saying to your friends "Check this out"
astrologer recommends that you limit yourself to clown outfits
only ordered the shirt because you heard it was shipped in a pretty box; box wasn't pretty
etc.

If you are unsatisfied with your shirt for any reason then simply send the used shirt back to us within 180 days (six months) of the date of your purchase and we'll refund 120% of your money. That's right. We'll give you back more than what you paid us. That's how awesome this company is.

Submit a photo & get a free shirt.

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To our Heroes overseas:

SmartTorso thanks you for your service. All shirts shipping to an APO/FPO address will AUTOMATICALLY get $5 off. You have a tough job*, and we sincerely thank you for being un-f***ing-believably awesome at it.

* This statement may not apply to pogues, FOBbits, or staff officers. Sure your jobs are thankless, but not tough. Now go file something while the grunts do all the hard work.

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